Wednesday, September 09, 2009

A minor epiphany

Posted on 3:59 PM by merrilymerrily

Maybe that just makes it a piph.

I think an artist is not someone who is good at drawing, or painting, or writing or performing. I think an artist is someone who sees the world in a certain way and has to find a way to express it. I think despite my background and training, I have an artists soul (although that sounds trite), and I think I'll feel a bit better about this life thing we all have to do if I could find a suitable medium, or three.

I always got confused when people start talking about left and right brains, and categorising people as creative or logical, language or science. I could never tell, and any test I did varied considerably in their results. During that crucial period as a teenager where you have to suddenly decide who you are and what you're going to do for the rest of your life it was concluded that I was a science brained person. Mainly because maths and science made sense to me and I was good at them, which would not be the case if I was 'arts' brained. Plus I couldn't draw and hated my art teacher and had major philosophical disagreements with half the english staff (not that you could tell, I was very well behaved and compliant). So I got myself scientifically trained. I'm comfortable in that sphere and can operate quite effectively. And I love ideas. New ones, old ones. And the scientific world is full of them. Without training they are very difficult to understand.

I think as a female, and a generally relational creature I have been trying to express myself through and within my relationships, specifically those closest to me. I live for sharing ideas I've found, or come up with and seeing that the other person understands, and even better sees the beauty in it too. Conversely when that doesn't happen I find myself spiraling, I feel so alone in my own mind, and am tempted to grab a hold of anything that resonates with me. Then I feel guilty because the joy that brings is so intense and I can't seem to share it with the one I love or include it in our relationship.

Anyway. Idea in progress.

1 Response to "A minor epiphany"

Katriona Robertson Says....

I don't want to sound trite, but - Wow, you've been blogging again!

Interesting thoughts here, about the development of your 'scientific side' over artistic. Art is such a horribly generic word. Nice touch with the Leonardo.